Last night, I ventured out to see some old friends, while donating for a good cause: Chicago Helps Haiti. It was the first time in five weeks that I went somewhere besides Target, the mailbox or the doctor's office. It was the first time I actually decided to put makeup on and do something new with my hair aside from the clip/ponytail. Finding something to wear was like a stand-up comedy act. I am loving my post baby body and am in no rush to go on some crash course diet, however, it'd be nice to have some of my old tops and jeans fit. My hips expanded and my chest exploded. I settled for my maternity jeans and a poncho.

Michael and I have an incredible system set-up for baby watch. Given we are both active, in some capacity, with the digital world, we trade off with the events/tweet-ups we attend. Yesterday was my night. I was able to muster enough pulling and tugging to get my old winter coat to fit, descended down the elevator and hit the street. What seemed to be a pretty basic thing to do (walking to the El, sit on train, walk the few blocks to the bar) instantly changed. I couldn't shake what feeling came over me, but then it hit me - I was leaving the house a MOM. Let me explain...

I tend to use any of my city walks, adventurers or even basic work commute as a time to observe, think and ponder. Chicago is a gorgeous city and it's always been my 'other' boyfriend since 1998. I would plug in the iPod, think about a problem I was having, daydream about living in Paris or imagine what my little girl looked like. There I was walking in the city with a new sense of responsibility - I had a little baby at home that relied on me for food, cuddling and safety. I still felt carefree as I made my way down Grand Avenue, but I was more cautious crossing the street and was a wee more anal when I looked down an alley. It was one of the most empowering feelings I've had since first visiting Chicago in 1996. At that time, I was a sophomore in college and made a promise to myself to move here and make a big splash. Fast forward 14 years and I'm married, have a new baby and a career I love.

All of those warm and fuzzy feelings continued as I opened the doors to the Haiti benefit. I saw a bunch of my old friends (Jeff and I are pictured above) and it felt terrific. Granted, I was winded from talking so much and hugging so many people in a short amount of time, but I enjoyed every second of it. Three hours whizzed by and another feeling came over me - I missed Liljana. It was coming close to her bedtime and I kept calling Michael to see how my little croissant was doing. I made it home a little later than I thought and missed my little baby's eyes close. Needless to say, I was happy she woke up at 1 am for her feeding. Sure, I was a zombie like I am every night, but it didn't phase me one bit.