A quiet Friday night and it’s just us girls. Michael is enjoying a pre birthday drink with his brother and I’m enjoying Liljana’s naptime, a glass of wine and running the washing machine.

I realized that four weeks have passed and I’m finally catching my breath. There are times when I gaze at my daughter and daydream about the fun things we’ll do together. Then I switch to daydreams of my own and wonder when the mini projects I started will get finished. I’ve always had this ‘problem’. I come up with interesting ideas and try to do too much at one time. Irony is, someone else comes around with a similar idea and sees it to fruition because they focus 100% of their time on that idea.

I started a site for women in their 20s, but have so many features I need to add to the site. These are the days that I wished I was a developer. 

I developed and began a patent for an idea to assist condo dwellers with the complicated (and financial) ins and outs of condo ownership. The site is currently offline because I couldn’t get the financial backing to run the site like a true start-up. I also had a mortgage to balance, which led to balancing consulting and trying to run a start-up. Alone. Oh yah, and being a woman.

I started chronicling various tech/agency activities in Chicago (the domain currently forwards to my other blog). Because of my deep Chicago roots, access to companies and contacts was (and still is) easy. Time became a factor. I added writers to join me, but everyone’s schedules got complicated and the project died off. Circle back to present day and I’ve been asked to forward this domain name and export its contents to another site that would like to do something similar. A fine idea, but the approach wasn’t something I expected.

I’m still supposed to take the travel journal I scribed, detailing my 2004 break from the world, regrouping in France, and make it into an actual book.

I work full time and actually, yes, really enjoy my job.

Oh, and I just had a baby. She’s my world, my priority, but I can’t help but to think about the other projects going on in my life and wondering when I can bring them back to life. 

Then I go back to the old saying that ‘Women can do it all’. I only believed in this statement from the standpoint of…’at one point or another, we can do it all, but not all at the same time’.

I’ll always wonder why it’s expected, and accepted, for a guy to have multiple projects going on, complete with having a newborn and/or an already established family.

Since having Liljana, I’ve heard everything from, ‘You should drop everything and focus on the baby’ to ‘Are you really going back to work?’ to ‘You’ll need to get rid of some projects’.

Sorry to report, I just don’t operate that way. I’ll get it all done, just not at the same time.