Dear Baby,

Babbo and I went to the doctor today and had the joy of finding out that we are going to have a daughter - that would be you:). I have a little secret to tell you: I knew it all along.

For some reason, I pictured you in my mind from the very moment I found out I was pregnant. When Babbo suggested your name at seven weeks, I knew in my heart that I was indeed having a little girl. I told family and friends of my guess,  but deep down, I didn't flinch an inch.

I was preparing all the lessons, games and silly times we'd have together. 

I began practicing various ways to spell the beautiful name that Babbo and I are going to give you.

I began playing the Macedonian folk music I grew up with - putting the speaker right near my belly so you can hear the drums.

I wondered if your hair would be jet black and curly like mine and if you'd inherit your Babbo's amazing blue eyes.

I pictured you seeing Lake Michigan for the first time, while sitting on a blanket with the span of the city behind you - welcoming you into the world as it did me in 1998.

I started thinking of all the things I wanted to talk to you about: mean girls, enjoying sports, acting like a lady, having a sense of humor, baking tips, respecting your Baba, Dedo and Grandma, being proud of your rich background, never being afraid to tell us anything and knowing that your Daddy will be your built-in bodyguard, effective now.

I always loved you, but now that I know more about you, I love you more. I've begun to subconsciously put my hand over you when I walk about the city, making sure harm doesn't come your way.  I don't want anyone taking away your comfortable time in my belly. You deserve your rest.

We can't wait to see you, little girl. Babbo is going to teach you everything about the White Sox and I plan on taking you to your first Detroit Red Wings game at Age 3.  You'll be exposed to two other languages, besides English, and have two parents that love each other very much. 

The three of us are going to be one powerful team, huh?

Kisses and Hugs from Mama!

 

It's 6 am. I woke up with an urge to write. Like a kid at Christmas, I realized what today is.

Today makes it official. I am 20 weeks along. Halfway home. 50% to the home stretch. According to science and those funky pregnancy calendars, I should expect to see my little baby in mid January. My little baby. Even writing that seems surreal. This time next year, I will be taking my little baby to the park, out for brunch with my girlfriends or watch my husband try to explain baseball to a 7 month old.

I'm a little freaked out. Excited- but freaked out. On one hand, I think over-the-moon to be a mama and pick blackberries with my own mama one day. This picture was snapped this past weekend, when I was home visiting my parents and celebrating my dad's birthday.  On the other hand, I am overwhelmed.

Michael, my mom and I hit Buy Buy Baby - a mammoth baby store chain that has every gizmo, doo-dad and outfit of choice for your little pumpkin (yes, they had Halloween clothes out already). I walked into the store, made clear instructions that we were NOT going to buy anything. I am yet to register and wanted to get a clear lay of the land before I embarked on the task of jotting down what I think I need versus what I really need.

We whisked around the store, checked out the departments and I made mental notes of things I liked and things I didn't like. I remembered things I read about in my baby magazines. I looked up the notes in my iPhone that were given to me by fellow mom bloggers. As soon as we cruised past the strollers, I had to get out of the store. It was just too much. I realized that all I cared about at that very moment was that my baby was ok and would be born with 10 toes and 10 fingers - I could care less what color the bassinet will be.

Tomorrow is another BIG day. We find out the sex of our little bambino! I know that once we determine if we'll have a little gal or guy in our lives, my feelings about colors and furniture will change. I still want to see that sonogram. I still want to see that my little munchkin is developing the way he/she should.

Then, maybe, just maybe I'll do cartwheels for the color the crib sheets will be or swoon over the uber cool print of the baby stroller:).

 

...and HOW!

After work yesteraday, I paid a quick visit to Michael at Eno. From there, I crossed the street, hit Nordstrom and was on a mission - new bras.

I was in a no nonsense mindset. I was hungry, wanted to get home and knew I was going to fork out some cash for at least two bras. I headed up to the 4th floor, met Joselyn, and was on my way.

It was one of the most efficient experiences I've ever had. BAM: Jocelyn fit me with a Natori bra, popular among expecting moms because it has this 'memory foam'. That's right, as my girls grow during the rest of the pregnancy, so will the foam, which will alleviate the need to keep buying even more bras. Nice. This bra cost a whopping $70, but it's comfy, does the trick and I love it.

I was also on a time crunch and didn't feel like window shopping.

I also picked up another bra, a pushup to accommodate the new cleavage that seems to be increasing daily. Of course, the hubby thinks this whole process is aweseome and was happy to hear that his wife is now a 'D' cup.

As Joseyln checked me out (I hope I'm spelling her name right), we got talking. Turns out she's a young 20 something, new to Chicago, fresh out of school, etc. We go to talking about Gals' Guide, its mission and if she needed the help, it was there. Seeing her face light up when hearing about the little site I started got me pretty emotional. Ok, ok, I'm also pregnant:). But...

The ability to connect with someone in two minutes about something we all go thru was pretty moving.

Best of luck, Joselyn and thanks for helping me with the bras!

 

Michael and my nephew, ChristianIt's been quite the few active last few weeks. In case you are keeping count, I am nearing the end of my 17th week. The bump is definitely visible, I'm continuing with my yoga, though my lower back continues to ache at the end of the day. 

The Scary Day of the Lump

I'm naturally inquisitive. Since I discovered I was pregnant, I began studying my body shape. I marveled at science and how at every second of the day, something was occurring deep within my body's cells to create a living, human being. This curiosity has me getting ready for work half naked. That's right, I now get ready in front of the mirror with nothing but my bra and undies.  Why?

To keep track of my body changes is why. It's this observant nature that caused me to have a scare about a week ago.

I was blow drying my hair and lifted my left arm over my head. This is when I noticed something peculiar.  The skin under my left breast looked off and 'stuck out' more than my right side.  I started to panic. I looked at that bump and felt every side of it, wondering what it is. I woke Michael up, showed him the lump and decided not to waste time. I made an appointment with my fabulous internist for the same day.

Off to Northwestern I went for an exam. My doc thought the lump could be a cyst, but to be safe, thought I should go obtain an ultrasound.  Living and working off of Michigan Avenue has its advantages - close to doctors, close to home and easy to fit in appointments when needed. I spent the rest of that day feeling somewhat better, but wishing I could have the ultrasound ASAP.

Day two. Michael dropped me off to the radiologist's office.  The entire staff was pleasant - I couldn't have felt more comfortable.  The technician took a look at my lump, then came in the radiologist. Cyst. A benign cyst. Phew!

The Tightening of the Ribs

With the scare of the lump gone, I encountered a new interesting dilemma. Pain under my left breast. The kind of pain that got worse throughout the day, into the night. The kind of pain that made it difficult for me to talk sometimes because it was so sharp. I wondered. Could it be...

 

• my ligaments
• my organs
• trapped gas (which my midwife also suggested)
• stress

 

My midwife, Amy, suggested I stop consuming dairy and instead, take supplements. 'Could I really be getting lactose intolerant?', I thought.

Then, I did something 'revolutionary'. I took off my bra one night. Michael noticed how deep the grooves of my wire hit my breastbone and we realized, it was probably time to buy some new bras!  I knew I'd have to purchase new over-the-shoulder-boulder-holders, but didn't think that the old bras could cause so much pain. 

The Expectant Father

Michael is reading this book, but is also acting like a true expectant dad - and I love it. I've always felt protected by having him nearby, but he's taken being my husband to another level.  From reminding me to eat my fruits, buying organic meat and buying additional folic acid supplements, Papa Bear (we've begun calling each other Mama, Papa and Baby Bear) is going to town.  He'll randomly throw out baby facts and things he's been reading.  I never thought he'd be so involved in this process - he surprises me every day. 

We are slowly becoming a mini family and this little boy/girl is getting enough love at 17 weeks to fill a city. I can only imagine what things will be like when we meet our little Baby Bear! 

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go eat some carrots:)

A video of frustration...note I decided to upload this video via YouTube vs. the web cam, then upload via YouTube. Hence, the slight air of pixelation.

So I've been slowly buying some maternity clothes. Thus far, it hasn't been fun.

My first experience at the GAP resulted in buying a size that was too big. I was a size 8 or 10 pre prego and I was told by the sales staff to buy a size 10 in maternity gear. So I did. I made it a point to tell the sales gal that this was my first time buying maternity clothes. No check-in at the dressing room, no question about other sizes needed. Nada.

So here I was with a pair of jeans I've already been wearing and can't exchange. A skirt and a pair of shorts sit in my closet, yet to be worn.  I'll get back to the skirt and the shorts in a second.

I find myself back at the GAP because I received a free jeans coupon from our Brand About Town friends at BlogHer. Sweet. Free jeans.  This time, I had a helpful, cheery GAP salesperson who looked at every pair of jeans I tried on. She concluded - I need a size 8, not 10.

Wonderful. I now have a pair of jeans I can't exchange, along with two other articles of clothing that I need to exchange for some new stuff. Meanwhile, I am going nuts trying to maximize the wardrobe I currently have without going nuts buy new clothes that will only fit me for a certain stretch of time.

So, to all the retailers out there...

1.) Make sure your sales staff is thoroughly trained in maternity gear - especially if your store does NOT specialize in prego clothes

2.) If a woman walks up to you and says, 'This is my first time buying maternity clothes', you may want to send some extra timing giving her some TLC on your maternity line. This is what you call a repeat customer.

3.) Cut some slack on your return policy. I wore my jeans once, washed them thinking they'd bounce into shape and I'm stuck with a saggy butt look.

I'm still a fan of the GAP, which is why I returned to the store last weekend. I'll probably return this weekend, exchange my old stuff and use that credit + a 40% off coupon to buy something else.  Gotta love the coupons:)

Wow.

Tell a few folks that you wanna go all natural with your birth and they look at you like you've turned into Lucy Ricardo. 

I never realized how many women preferred to go right for the drugs without giving natural child birth a go. For centuries, women have been OWNING IT. Pushing that baby through the canal, moving when the baby moves and doing what nature wanted us to do. Why is it so odd to attempt to give birth to my little one this way?

My older sister has two amazing little kids. If I could eat them up, I would. I digress...

With her first, she had an epidural. I saw my sis post delivery and she was a mess. Stiff, sore, the works. When my sister gave birth to my niece, she did so the natural way. Yep, it hurt. Alot. Yep, she was in pain. Alot. But when little V was born, my sister said she began to breast feed, bounced back in the moment, etc.

This is what I want for my birthing experience. However, if the baby is in danger and there needs to be drug intervention to take care of business, I'm fine with that, too. Between my midwife and the doctor that will be onsite, I'm confident that I'll have the counsel I need to get thru it.

If you gave birth naturally, did you regret it?

So many selections

So many cute faces on packages

...so much poop in my future:)