What can I say? I am whatever you want to call me. Dot Com Junkie. Digital Nerd. Web 1.0 Veteran. Geek. 

In a nutshell, I am exposed to information - all day. For the last 12 years, I've been in the thick of news sites, blogs, message boards, instant message windows, video chats and forums. Whether it was a media buy or a blog relationship, my jobs have all been affiliated with getting and placing information online in some shape or form. This makes my research abilities impeccable to a fault.

I've just about scared myself silly reading baby sites and need to stop. Oh sure, understanding what my body is going through on a weekly basis makes sense. Understanding why I get so hungry at night, ravenous I would say, then get queasy after a few bites of dinner is helpful.  The community forums with women have been helpful too, but I need to take a break. Big time.

Last week, Michael and I headed to our first appointment. 7 week ultrasound. Because I really didn't have the typical pregnancy issues that most women had, I thought for sure I lost the baby. I know, I know, you all think I'm paranoid. Just the opposite. The miscarriages in my circle of family and friends are numerous and I was freaked out.  Did the wine I drank before I found out I was prego do something to the embryo? Did the running I did at the gym mess things up?

All of these questions came streaming through as the OB/GYN cooly told me to mount the table, settle down in the straps and relax. Oh sure, easy for her to say. She didn't have access to the thoughts permeating through my brain on a daily basis. The lights of the examining room dimmed, the procedure began and I held my breath. A few minutes of anticipation and BAM, baby. Well, it wasn't a baby per se, but more like a mini bean. I still wasn't satisfied. I needed to see that heartbeat.

The doc highlighted a few small areas of the monitor. Yep, heartbeat was alive and kicking. I was stunned. Something so small was growing in my belly and already had a heartbeat?  This was better than watching NOVA when I was a kid!  Now, if you know me, you know I like to ask questions.  I could have stayed in that examining room all day and watch my mini bean flipping around like those Mexican Jumping Beans in the old cartoons. But, alas, no, I had to go into the doc's office and go thru the question and answer period.

That same afternoon, Michael and I were on our way to Michigan. A fun weekend with the parents and showing off our little 7 week bean. 

 

 

Yes, that's me. I'm 6 weeks along and don't really have any morning sickness.

I feel like I'm supposed to have it. Then again, many of my friends didn't experience this issue, so why should it matter?

Perhaps it's the fact that every time I talk to my sister and mom, they ask about morning sickness. I know they mean well, but it's making me PARANOID. I keep turning to Michael every three minutes to say: 'I think I had a miscarriage'. Poor guy, I'm driving him nuts.

 

We found out on Mother’s Day…

Michael and I were having a silly fight over something stupid. It was so stupid, I forgot what we were arguing about. I needed a break from the back and forth tit for tat and decided to go to Walgreens. I was late, but wasn’t sure if being late meant stress or the onset of a pregnancy. I wanted an answer and the constant wonder was driving me nuts.

Our condo’s garage connects to the Walgreens in our complex. That short walk felt different. I was cooling off from a husband and wife quarrel, but I also wondered if I was pregnant. ‘I couldn’t be. We just started trying’, I thought. I heard so many stories about how long it took women to get pregnant that I assumed it would take us at least 6 months.

I picked up a double pack of First Response – just to be sure. I walked back home in a huff, went to the bathroom and took the test. I was relaxed and honestly thought that I was just stressed and that my period would come the next day. Then it happened – the ‘Pregnant’ line appeared.

I opened the bathroom door shaking. It was a combination of excitement and sadness. Here we were, arguing on the night we find out I’m pregnant. To be safe, I took the second test and bam, pregnant. It took a while for things to sink it for me. You have to understand something - I’m a planner. I’ve been that way since birth. I know certain things in life can’t be planned, but getting pregnant on our first try was a big surprise!

Meanwhile, Michael was sitting back in his chair, hands behind his head, proud as can be. ‘I knew you were pregnant’, he said. He had this permanent grin that slowly melted away our arguing. I sat on the toilet seat for I don’t know how long and kept whispering, ‘I’m pregnant. I’m pregnant. I’m friggin pregnant!’

It was late on a Sunday night, but I had to call my mom in Detroit. How could I let the rest of Mother’s Day go by and not tell her? I dialed my parents’ house, activated the speaker button and realized that I woke my mom up. Whoops! We shared the news, my mom wanted to know if I was joking (of course), then realized we were telling the truth.

I could tell mom was happy, but cautious at the same time. I told her I’d take care of myself and keep her posted with every step. I’m 33 years old and talk to my parents at least four times a week – and that will never stop.

So there we were. Married for just over a year and about to embark on the most amazing ride ever. As we got ready for bed, I made a quiet promise to the baby. I would do everything I could to instill the traditions and lessons that my mother, grandmothers and great grandmothers passed on to me.

And so here I am, going thru motherhood as a modern gal, putting a first generation twist to the way I do things. I’m sure I’ll make mistakes along the way, but know that I come from a strong stock of women that raised some amazing kids.

May the ride begin!