Mamas and Babas

find out what happens when a 1st generation gal becomes a mama in a modern day world...

Wed

At the End of the Day, My Baby is a Village Girl

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As Liljana grows older and I take the extra precautions to have the things she needs, I'm thankful for ensuring my friends and family didn't go overboard with their gifts. I'm thankful that I stuck to my realistic guns and didn't go overboard with buying every outfit, toy and crib doodad known to man. I know Lily will have her favorite stuffed animals or toys to play with, but it's my silly voice and faces that makes my little one coo. It's the way Michael pats his daughter's belly that makes her laugh. Not the toys. Not the 'right now' trend. Not the pricey outfit that will end up soaking in the sink from an explosive diaper. It reminds me of stories my parents told me.

Growing up in Macedonia, they didn't have much, but they had fun. Somehow, some way, my grandparents and great grandparents raised a brood of healthy children. This photo was taken in my mother's village. Mom is the little peanut standing on the right. Behind her stand her aunt, uncle and mom, my Baba.

Lily sleeps with us. In a crib in our room. This is how I wanted things to be and this is how they'll remain until we move. Oh sure, we could have moved months before babe's arrival, but I decided to take away the stress of renting our place out, finding a bigger home and all the drama that comes with a move. Michael agreed and we've been happy with our decision.

There is something about being together, during Liljana's early months, in one room at night, that is difficult to describe. I sometimes close my eyes and imagine we are in our room, but in a small village in France or Macedonia. Instead of the traffic below us, there is nothing but stillness from the fruit trees and the steady flow of water from the local stream. Often times, I wake up and just stare at Michael and Lily as they sleep, sitting in the rocking chair and marveling at my mini family that is resting together. I've become an expert in understanding Lily's breathing patterns and know when she's about to stir. I wouldn't replace that knowledge for a second.

Sure, things will be difficult when Liljana moves to her own room, but I'd be happy with a few weeks of evening dramas in exchange for these months of closeness. That's how things roll in our village.

Fri

My Mom Once Tied My Ankle to a Table - and I Survived

Liljana is getting more active. I marvel at her ability to be placed in the crib one way, then I wake up the next morning and see her flipped 90 degrees - by merely kicking her feet in circles and landing in a new position. I keep an extra eye on her while I make dinner and even when I race to the bathroom to wet a towel. Then I think about the story my mom always tells me...

When I was a baby, mom was home alone with me.  She was taking care of household chores and had to do the laundry - which was in the basement of our old house in Warren.  Without a flinch, my mom simply gave me one of my toys, loosely tied my ankle to the table leg, ran downstairs to change out the laundry, then came back upstairs to see me in the same position with the toy.

I'm not suggesting that we mothers tie our children to table legs, but I do think there is something to be said for old fashioned Mama Sense. My mom did what she had to do and did it with extra care, but she didn't have Protective Services knocking down her door because she took care of the laundry while I played with a doll.

Fri

The Three Month Update: Work, Pumping and The Chub.

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Friday night. Drinking a raspberry wheat beer. Baby monitor to my left. Liljana turned the three month mark this week and continues to crack us up. Her wingspan is starting to cramp up her bassinet, which means I'll be spending the weekend prepping the crib for Lily's arrival. The crib's currently serves as a mini storage facility for her older clothes, toys and endless amounts of blankets. I get the pleasure of using my packing skills to find a storage home for everything.

Three months. You may expect me to say 'three months FLEW', but they didn't. We made it a point to really take in each day of Lily's life and unravel the nuances that are now a part of her personality. Yes, things are getting easier. I continue to have the bags under my eyes, but each week helps a smidge. Babe currently goes to sleep around 830ish, wakes around 130 or 230ish, then back up again at 6. My mornings consist of rushing to shower, pack a lunch, prep my pumping supplies, get ready for work, then attempt to spend some time with Lily (nurse) before I'm out the door. Of course, babies don't always have set schedules. I've left the condo is a frenzy for a few mornings. One day, I forgot my pumping supplies. The other day, I hit snooze and it literally threw off my morning routine. Then there was the time that Lily was so tired that she didn't wake in time for me to see her.

I don't like the feeling of 'missing something'. In the mornings, I squeeze Lily so tight before I leave for the bus stop that I have the scent of her noggin on me for the rest of the morning. Having made the decision to have a parent at home with our little one has done wonders for my peace of mind. Michael freelances from home. I know how difficult it must be juggling his writing, client calls and meetings with baby, but he's fallen into his own routine. When we need help, we have it in the form of my mother in law or close friends nearby. So far, so good. I work from home on Fridays, so in between meetings and documents, I can at least look across the room and see our Chub. Our system is working, but we both know that things could easily change with schedules. Until then, Lily gets to be with her Babbo. The two of them have bonded tremendously. Yes, it makes me jealous. Michael sends me daily pics of babe and fills me in on milestones. When I get home from work, my focus is all Baby. I really can't describe the feeling of seeing your daughter look up at you and coo, followed by her staying still as you assume the cheek-to-cheek position and kiss her face until it's red.

Yep, I'm still nursing. Pumping as a full-time working mom isn't fun. It plain isn't. Two times per day, I take my bag o' pumping goodies, my smart phone and head to a room where I can do the deed. If I don't make the time to pump, my chest is in such pain, that it sometimes hurts to cough. I choose to continue this routine as long as I can. There is nothing more fulfilling than getting home, unzipping my bag and whipping out two full bottles of Mama Juice. This spectacular concoction has contributed to Lily's weight gain - she's around 14 pounds - hence our nickname of The Chub:).

Springtime hits us this weekend and we were teased with gorgeous weather today. I took Lily for a walk in her sling and it was glorious. Aside from the winds, being outside in the city with my little girl plain rocked. I donned my bright orange trench, while Liljana had on a hodge podge of bright clothes. We matched. It was cheesy. And I wouldn't have it any other way.

Sat

The $20,000+ Baby

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For nine months, you worry. No matter what people tell you, you are going to worry about every upcoming test, exam and milestone in your unborn child's life. You're going to worry about lying flat on your back and how much soft cheese you shouldn't consume. You're going to worry about not feeling your baby everyday. You're going to worry about the weight gain (or lack thereof), and if your hubby/partner thinks you're a whale.

Then you go into labor. In my case, I went into labor four weeks early and wondered if it was too soon. I wondered if my baby's lungs were fully development. I worried that I worried so much during my pregnancy that I caused the early birth. I worried about my job and feeling horrible for not having conducted the full knowledge transfer that I was in the process of conducting. I worried that the epidural that I didn't want to have, but needed, would have a side effect on our little one. I worried that  now that I was a mama, little Lily wouldn't latch on and breast feed right away.

Yes, I worried.

For those of you that have asked me about health insurance, get ready for a doozy. Delivery rates, I'm sure, vary by city, hospital, etc. We chose to deliver at Northwestern's esteemed Prentice Women's Hospital. That's right. A place that is for the ladies 100% of the time - no boys allowed. The building is pretty new and everyone talks about the joys of delivering in a luxurious environment (it really wasn't over the top, as I had expected). After retrieving my line item bill from our healthcare provider, I realized the prices were sure luxurious. I have an employer that is terrific when it comes to women, moms and healthcare in general. Much of our bills were taken care of with insurance, but we did have some out of pockets.

To the ill informed mom-to-be, you may be worrying about the cost of delivering a baby in our wonderful country of no national health care (yes, I'm annoyed). To prep you, I've decided to list the whole kit and kaboodle.  Without further ado, I present the breakdown of what it cost to deliver Liljana. Note, these are just fees for the services at Northwestern and do NOT include any of my healthcare needs OR the charge from the midwife. These rates also do not cover the subsequent trips to the pediatrician for jaundice diagnosis and newborn care.

We were very well taken care of, but did have some not-so-great moments in recovery (ie. the revolving door of hospital staff). Many of you work for yourselves and candidly asked me the cost of what it would be to deliver at Prentice. Here you go:

My Bill
Room and Board: $5,475 (two-day stay after Lily was born)
Pharmacy: $799.60 
Med-Surg-Anesth. Supplies: $1399
Laboratory: $800 
Operating/Recovery Room: $7,676 (we were here for about 10 hours)

Baby's Bill
Room and Board: $1,700 (not sure how the baby was charged room and board, but she was)
Pharmacy: $43.60
Laboratory: $1,080
Respiratory: $613
Diagnostic Services: $613

Grand total: $20,198.60

Does this mean you shouldn't deliver at Prentice? Of course not. It does mean that you should know well in advance of the fees, what they mean and understand your insurance plan. I highly recommend signing up for a flexible spending account through your employer, should you have one. This may offset the fees you need to pay after your insurance kicks in.  Another terrific option? Northwestern offers an interest free payment plan to pay off your medical bills. Sans credit hit. A nice perk to space out your payments, should you need a break in this zany economy.

Got more questions? Ask away. You know where to find me:). 
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