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Apr 11
From the Office Chair to the Rocking Chair: A Mama’s Schedule
My parents both worked when I was little. Our family was also scheduled to a tee. There was a time when we had one car. I remember my mom waiting in the driveway for my dad to come home from his job. He’d get out of the driver’s seat and she’d get in and go to her job. These memories stay with me and remind me that with hard work and dedication, parents can work together to do what’s best for how they want to raise their kids.Lily just passed the 16-week mark. She’s thriving, laughing and cooing. She also seems to switch up her schedule on a whim and as soon as I adjust to one thing, another nuance pops up. Couple these change-ups with a full time job and you have one mom that savors those bits of quiet time.
In the morning, the first thing I try to do is nurse Lily – depending on when she decides to wake up. She’s being going to bed at 8:30, then up at 2 am or 3 am for a feeding (breast milk digests faster, making babes hungrier faster). If babe is sound asleep at 6, I rush into the shower, set my hair in velcro rollers, eat breakfast, make my lunch, pack my breast pump bag, get dressed and make my face look like it has some color. (Sure I can do some of this prep packing the day before, but you’ll realize at this end of this post as to why I crash at night.) Assuming Lily is up at 7ish, I spend quality time with her nursing and watching some morning news. By this time, Michael starts to wake up. After his shower and breakfast, I hand babe back to Michael. I also make it a point to prep my daughter’s clothes for the day. Since I’m not with her, putting her outfit together, even if it’s a sleeper, make me feel like I helped set the tone for her day.
If all goes well, I’m out the door by 7:45/8, depending on that morning’s meetings. I have the good fortunate of having a quick commute to work, but there are always those days where I run into snafus:
-I’ve forgotten breast pump items at least three times, having to walk back to the condo from the bus stop
-I’ve hit bus rush hour
-I can’t find a thing to wear because nothing buttons properly across my chest
-I forgot to pack my lunch
-I forgot my laptop
-I forgot my CTA card
At this point, morning workouts can’t be consistent. I tried to hit the gym a few times, but quickly learned that it’s best to workout once baby goes down for the night. Our gym is below our building – no excuses.
Once at the office, the day is jam packed with meetings, deliverables and overall to-dos. Our team structure changed when I came back from maternity leave, putting additional responsibility on my plate. I’m enjoying what I do, but this means that almost every ounce of my day needs to be optimized. I try to squeeze in two pumping sessions as well. This means that I take my mama supplies and my iPhone into the designated pumping room and keep in touch with my team members for the next 20-30 minutes. You may think this is crazy, but 30 minutes, twice a day provides me time to catch up on news, RSS feeds and taking notes on printed articles. I also try to give Michael a quick call and check in on Lily.
I try to leave the office, pending anything crazy that pops up, between 5:30 and 6:15. Michael and I chose not to use a nanny for the first months of Liljana’s life. With the hubby freelancing, it enables him to have a flexible schedule, bringing in my mother in law when we need support during the day. Many of his clients need him for evening events, so it works out pretty well. I also understand the need to relieve Michael of his day duties, so I try to zip home when I can. As soon as I get in the door, I change clothes, wash my hands and sweep Lily up from her current perch.
At this point, the little one may already have eaten. I either take her for a walk or just play with her until she dozes off. We’ve noticed Lily’s getting tired earlier, so the 8:30 sleep time has crept up to 8, leaving me less time with her. 7 pm tends to be her witching hour, meaning she used to nap for 30 minutes, get up, scream and be cranky, then eat again and be out for the night at 8:30. I started putting her to bed earlier and the crying and rubbing of the eyes has stoppedJ. Then it’s the second favorite party of my day (aside from kissing my hubby when I get home), the rocking chair.
After Lily has her feeding, we sit in the rocking chair and I sing her random songs. By random, I mean the zany imagination I’ve always had shines. This baby has no idea as to what I’m singing or what it means, but it soothes her every time. I also have my favorite French songs playing in the background, transforming our room into an intimate French café. The two of us sit, rocking to and fro, with my lips resting on her little head and my hand stroking her cheek. In the nightlight glow, I can see those long eyelashes begin to flutter. Next come the hands, slowly going from fists to flat pancakes, lowering to her sides. Then comes the baby snoring. We sit like this for a while. When I know she’s out, I creep over to her crib, continuing with the rocking motion and ease Lily into her final sleeping place. For the next two minutes, our little one rocks to and fro, trying to find her sweet spot. I rest my hand on her tummy, continuing with the rocking motion until my little girl is content in La-La Land.
Now we come to 8/830ish. I eat the rest of my dinner, catch up with Michael on happenings of the day or veg out for 30 minutes with a glass of wine. By this time, I’m usually too bushed to hit the gym, but this is where I need to push myself. On the nights I DO go, I feel refreshed and have the energy to crank through some evening emails. Besides, I just enjoyed an amusing day of spring shopping yesterday, getting even more motivated to shed those last baby pounds.
Bed time tends to be 11 or midnight, depending on what I need to do for the next day. On Fridays, I work from home. I'm plugged in to the office, but can look across the room and see Lily's face when I need a break.
How am I doing? Pretty good. Is it difficult? Some days, yes. Some days, no. Is it worth it? Without question:). The key is two-fold: 1) having a strong partner 2) having a career that gets the life of a working mom.
Next up: The Trials and Tribulations of Breast Feeding
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Apr 8
Last Night, Steve Jobs Saved My Life
I woke up at 4:30 am this morning, in a cold sweat and forgetting I was safe and sound in my bedroom.I had the most vivid dream of having being kidnapped on the streets of Chicago, thrown in a car and taken to a remote wooded area. Before the trunk of the getaway car closed, I was shouting 'I have an iPhone! I have an iPhone!' Fast forward to me with my captors freaking the hell out and wondering if anyone heard my plea. The next thing I knew, flashlights were appearing in the woods and a rescue party had found me. Michael was there, leading the pack. In the police cruiser, he told me what happened... I was found because fellow iPhone users realized I was hinting about the 'Find my iPhone' GPS feature. Apparently, they called the Chicago cops, who then called Steve Jobs. Steve personally went to the Apple HQ, looked my digits up in the database and transcribed my location to the fuzz. You're my hero, Steve!Comments [0]
Mar 31
At the End of the Day, My Baby is a Village Girl
As Liljana grows older and I take the extra precautions to have the things she needs, I'm thankful for ensuring my friends and family didn't go overboard with their gifts. I'm thankful that I stuck to my realistic guns and didn't go overboard with buying every outfit, toy and crib doodad known to man. I know Lily will have her favorite stuffed animals or toys to play with, but it's my silly voice and faces that makes my little one coo. It's the way Michael pats his daughter's belly that makes her laugh. Not the toys. Not the 'right now' trend. Not the pricey outfit that will end up soaking in the sink from an explosive diaper. It reminds me of stories my parents told me.
Growing up in Macedonia, they didn't have much, but they had fun. Somehow, some way, my grandparents and great grandparents raised a brood of healthy children. This photo was taken in my mother's village. Mom is the little peanut standing on the right. Behind her stand her aunt, uncle and mom, my Baba.
Lily sleeps with us. In a crib in our room. This is how I wanted things to be and this is how they'll remain until we move. Oh sure, we could have moved months before babe's arrival, but I decided to take away the stress of renting our place out, finding a bigger home and all the drama that comes with a move. Michael agreed and we've been happy with our decision.
There is something about being together, during Liljana's early months, in one room at night, that is difficult to describe. I sometimes close my eyes and imagine we are in our room, but in a small village in France or Macedonia. Instead of the traffic below us, there is nothing but stillness from the fruit trees and the steady flow of water from the local stream. Often times, I wake up and just stare at Michael and Lily as they sleep, sitting in the rocking chair and marveling at my mini family that is resting together. I've become an expert in understanding Lily's breathing patterns and know when she's about to stir. I wouldn't replace that knowledge for a second.
Sure, things will be difficult when Liljana moves to her own room, but I'd be happy with a few weeks of evening dramas in exchange for these months of closeness. That's how things roll in our village.
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Mar 27
(download)
Lily continues to coo and attempt to communicate. Cutesy thing ever!
Saturday Morning Conversations
Lily continues to coo and attempt to communicate. Cutesy thing ever!
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Mar 26
My Mom Once Tied My Ankle to a Table - and I Survived
Liljana is getting more active. I marvel at her ability to be placed in the crib one way, then I wake up the next morning and see her flipped 90 degrees - by merely kicking her feet in circles and landing in a new position. I keep an extra eye on her while I make dinner and even when I race to the bathroom to wet a towel. Then I think about the story my mom always tells me...
When I was a baby, mom was home alone with me. She was taking care of household chores and had to do the laundry - which was in the basement of our old house in Warren. Without a flinch, my mom simply gave me one of my toys, loosely tied my ankle to the table leg, ran downstairs to change out the laundry, then came back upstairs to see me in the same position with the toy. I'm not suggesting that we mothers tie our children to table legs, but I do think there is something to be said for old fashioned Mama Sense. My mom did what she had to do and did it with extra care, but she didn't have Protective Services knocking down her door because she took care of the laundry while I played with a doll.Comments [2]
Mar 19
The Three Month Update: Work, Pumping and The Chub.
Friday night. Drinking a raspberry wheat beer. Baby monitor to my left. Liljana turned the three month mark this week and continues to crack us up. Her wingspan is starting to cramp up her bassinet, which means I'll be spending the weekend prepping the crib for Lily's arrival. The crib's currently serves as a mini storage facility for her older clothes, toys and endless amounts of blankets. I get the pleasure of using my packing skills to find a storage home for everything.
Three months. You may expect me to say 'three months FLEW', but they didn't. We made it a point to really take in each day of Lily's life and unravel the nuances that are now a part of her personality. Yes, things are getting easier. I continue to have the bags under my eyes, but each week helps a smidge. Babe currently goes to sleep around 830ish, wakes around 130 or 230ish, then back up again at 6. My mornings consist of rushing to shower, pack a lunch, prep my pumping supplies, get ready for work, then attempt to spend some time with Lily (nurse) before I'm out the door. Of course, babies don't always have set schedules. I've left the condo is a frenzy for a few mornings. One day, I forgot my pumping supplies. The other day, I hit snooze and it literally threw off my morning routine. Then there was the time that Lily was so tired that she didn't wake in time for me to see her. I don't like the feeling of 'missing something'. In the mornings, I squeeze Lily so tight before I leave for the bus stop that I have the scent of her noggin on me for the rest of the morning. Having made the decision to have a parent at home with our little one has done wonders for my peace of mind. Michael freelances from home. I know how difficult it must be juggling his writing, client calls and meetings with baby, but he's fallen into his own routine. When we need help, we have it in the form of my mother in law or close friends nearby. So far, so good. I work from home on Fridays, so in between meetings and documents, I can at least look across the room and see our Chub. Our system is working, but we both know that things could easily change with schedules. Until then, Lily gets to be with her Babbo. The two of them have bonded tremendously. Yes, it makes me jealous. Michael sends me daily pics of babe and fills me in on milestones. When I get home from work, my focus is all Baby. I really can't describe the feeling of seeing your daughter look up at you and coo, followed by her staying still as you assume the cheek-to-cheek position and kiss her face until it's red. Yep, I'm still nursing. Pumping as a full-time working mom isn't fun. It plain isn't. Two times per day, I take my bag o' pumping goodies, my smart phone and head to a room where I can do the deed. If I don't make the time to pump, my chest is in such pain, that it sometimes hurts to cough. I choose to continue this routine as long as I can. There is nothing more fulfilling than getting home, unzipping my bag and whipping out two full bottles of Mama Juice. This spectacular concoction has contributed to Lily's weight gain - she's around 14 pounds - hence our nickname of The Chub:). Springtime hits us this weekend and we were teased with gorgeous weather today. I took Lily for a walk in her sling and it was glorious. Aside from the winds, being outside in the city with my little girl plain rocked. I donned my bright orange trench, while Liljana had on a hodge podge of bright clothes. We matched. It was cheesy. And I wouldn't have it any other way.Comments [0]
